65
65
Jan 5, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
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eye 65
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you don't want to use that. it's got holes in it. i know, but i'm gonna put this-- hold on, because i've got a really very good idea. keep holding! pass that over, will you? can you climb over and help him? help him? how? well, hold it. hold what? the box! otherwise, it'll go everywhere! no, i... i'd have to take my seatbelt off. well, live a little! go on! we all know how much you like to break the rules! ( horn honks ) if you do that one more time, i'm gonna...! okay. now, you're gonna have to-- i'm not weeing in a box! ( horn honks ) that's really very helpful. thank you, you... hole! you said-- i did not say anything of the kind. sorry to, uh, to keep you, peter. no problem. okay, you can relax. i really don't think this is gonna be a problem. good. now, the first thing i'd like to get on record is that everything that happens inside this building is child-centered. it's a school. exactly. and so the welfare of the children is paramount, in accordance with best practice, obviously. now, then, this remark of yours that kemal found
you don't want to use that. it's got holes in it. i know, but i'm gonna put this-- hold on, because i've got a really very good idea. keep holding! pass that over, will you? can you climb over and help him? help him? how? well, hold it. hold what? the box! otherwise, it'll go everywhere! no, i... i'd have to take my seatbelt off. well, live a little! go on! we all know how much you like to break the rules! ( horn honks ) if you do that one more time, i'm gonna...! okay. now, you're gonna have...
29
29
Jan 12, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
tv
eye 29
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she's not used to looking after him. oh, i doubt it. she seems to be coping really well, which is good, isn't it? i'm going to go and watch the big telly. well, it is good, isn't it? i mean, for all of us. of course it's good, i know that. i do understand, you know. understand what? well, you've been looking after your dad for ages. your sister breezes in and just takes over. it's only human nature that you're gonna feel a bit... a bit what? supplanted. ( scoffs ) supplanted? why would i feel supplanted? i don't feel supplanted. ( doorbell rings ) ooh, that'll be jane. alexa! don't get involved! alexa! here i am, late again. what am i like? you must be so fed up with me. not at all. alexa! she's probably hiding. little terror. she always does that. alexa, come on! nice evening. yeah. alexa! i got lost on the way over here. can you believe that? i've been here hundreds of times. yes, you have. i always confuse the two roundabouts. ( chuckles ) oh, no. ( sighs ) do you want to come in for a drink? no! oh, no. i can't stop. thank you, god.
she's not used to looking after him. oh, i doubt it. she seems to be coping really well, which is good, isn't it? i'm going to go and watch the big telly. well, it is good, isn't it? i mean, for all of us. of course it's good, i know that. i do understand, you know. understand what? well, you've been looking after your dad for ages. your sister breezes in and just takes over. it's only human nature that you're gonna feel a bit... a bit what? supplanted. ( scoffs ) supplanted? why would i feel...
126
126
Jan 19, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
tv
eye 126
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he died to save us all. that's a bit selfish of humankind, isn't it? well, couldn't he find another way, like writing to somebody to tell them to be a bit better? otherwise, something bad's gonna happen, or like-- or like-- oh, goodness. oh, look, i really must be-- when jesus was being crucified... actually, uh, i just realized there's a few people i must go and speak to. ...ask god to send a meteorite and destroy all the troops of the romans who were... well, it was the way god choose to sacrifice his only son. he wanted to show us how important it was, so he chose the most precious thing in the world to him, and the most precious thing in the world to him was jesus. but then why did he kill him? so, have you got kids? no. no, my lifestyle's never really left any room for it, you know? i love my globe trotting too much. right. no, i-i couldn't do what sue does. jesus says we should forgive everybody. yes, that's right. sorry, you are...? this is mary, my assistant bridesmaid. okay. well, i'll be off. so, what would jesus do if someone stole his mobil
he died to save us all. that's a bit selfish of humankind, isn't it? well, couldn't he find another way, like writing to somebody to tell them to be a bit better? otherwise, something bad's gonna happen, or like-- or like-- oh, goodness. oh, look, i really must be-- when jesus was being crucified... actually, uh, i just realized there's a few people i must go and speak to. ...ask god to send a meteorite and destroy all the troops of the romans who were... well, it was the way god choose to...
182
182
Jan 15, 2012
01/12
by
WMPT
tv
eye 182
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i used to give her all my refreshers. they were like a little packet of sweets that had letters on them, and i used to secretly rearrange the order of the letters so that they spelt out "i love you." mind you, i had to buy a lot of packets to get the right letters. how old were you? sixtee-- six. that man's still sweating. a... a... a... airplane? not that i see any. nope, it's not airplane. alsatian? nope, not alsatian. ak-47? no. a... ( mumbling ) all right, i give up. it's air. air?! you can't see air! you can! um, what about all that fog and mist that we had on holiday? that was air. yeah, sadly. and when it's a very hot day, you can see the sun coming in and all those dotty bits of air. that's dust. yes, but what makes it float? air does! all right, something beginning with... "t." who's this? "oh, jo. i love you, jo." shut up, you little idiot! i've had enough! boys, boys... don't touch me! oh! pete: boys! sorry. i am so sorry. don't worry. we didn't mean it. thank you. yeah, well, this is precisely how accidents ha
i used to give her all my refreshers. they were like a little packet of sweets that had letters on them, and i used to secretly rearrange the order of the letters so that they spelt out "i love you." mind you, i had to buy a lot of packets to get the right letters. how old were you? sixtee-- six. that man's still sweating. a... a... a... airplane? not that i see any. nope, it's not airplane. alsatian? nope, not alsatian. ak-47? no. a... ( mumbling ) all right, i give up. it's air....
250
250
Jan 29, 2012
01/12
by
WMPT
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eye 250
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oh, no, there's a whole gang of us. we'll be back by 10:30, and it's not a school day tomorrow, so it's fine. 10:30, jake? you're only 12. well, jo's got the tickets already, and everyone else's parents have said yes. have your parents said yes. absolutely. they'll be cool. "they'll be cool"? can i hang up now? yeah. there's a stupid man who keeps asking me questions. oh, give it to me. i promise i'll be back by 10:30. hang on, hang on. is it the cineplex you're planning to go to? i'm sorry you've had to wait for someone to answer. i've had to wait 71 minutes! there's a big group of us. what are you so worried about? let me see. there was the drive-by shooting that happened there last week. that was outside. karen: he's right. yes, but to get to the inside, you have to go through the outside. well, how come everyone else's parents think it's fine. yes, how come? karen, can you stay out of this, please? if that sentence is going to end "transfer you to another department," please don't say it because i will stab myself.
oh, no, there's a whole gang of us. we'll be back by 10:30, and it's not a school day tomorrow, so it's fine. 10:30, jake? you're only 12. well, jo's got the tickets already, and everyone else's parents have said yes. have your parents said yes. absolutely. they'll be cool. "they'll be cool"? can i hang up now? yeah. there's a stupid man who keeps asking me questions. oh, give it to me. i promise i'll be back by 10:30. hang on, hang on. is it the cineplex you're planning to go to? i'm...
89
89
Jan 26, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
tv
eye 89
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quote 0
everybody's looking at us, mummy. yes, i know, darling.
everybody's looking at us, mummy. yes, i know, darling.
112
112
Jan 19, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
tv
eye 112
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quote 0
yeah, fairies do, but fairies are very unlikely to tie us up and rob us in our beds, you know, so... but if a fairies can get in, definitely demons can get in. no. and little gremlins. what about, um, goblins? goblins can't come down. don't exist. ...gremlin. they don't exist. yes, but then who makes little presents for santa to bring to all the little children? well, elves. elves. elves. will you please go back to bed? what about if a badger came down? badgers exist, but they're very unlikely to be burgling us. you should be in bed. no, because i'm scared just like ben. don't do the door. what about crazy bat thingy from doctor who? i've got to go. i've got to go downstairs. what about a big ginormous tarantula, creeping, and then it comes onto the bed and kills us with its ginormous... ( imitates claws crushing ) things. rajasthan is probably my, ooh, second favorite indian state after kerala, but ahead of tamil nadu and west bengal. so what part of india are you from? pakistan. well, my family... way back. but ravi's family's indian. oh, so which parts of india do you recommend? i
yeah, fairies do, but fairies are very unlikely to tie us up and rob us in our beds, you know, so... but if a fairies can get in, definitely demons can get in. no. and little gremlins. what about, um, goblins? goblins can't come down. don't exist. ...gremlin. they don't exist. yes, but then who makes little presents for santa to bring to all the little children? well, elves. elves. elves. will you please go back to bed? what about if a badger came down? badgers exist, but they're very unlikely...
42
42
Jan 12, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
tv
eye 42
favorite 0
quote 0
only i didn't use the word resignation. i used lots of shorter words. all right, jake, shouldn't you be doing your homework? no, i wanna watch this. i think we should have a drink to celebrate. i mean, we don't need the money that she's giving me, do we? we can cope financially, as long as you're pulling in a wage. and you know what? i've been thinking, and i think we should do that world trip idea of yours. i've got to stop seeing bear-traps everywhere. we could rent this house out while we're away, and you could teach while we're on the road. i mean, it's easy. you just need to get a reference from the school. yay! i'm free! um, mom-- ( phone rings ) i bet that will be veronica begging me to reconsider. i bet it isn't. ♪ i said this time and time again that i'm going to leave home, and now i really am. isn't this nice? wine, and my grown up son at the table... and wine. i woke up at 3:00 this morning, and he was in the garden putting bottles into boxes. you can't just do things like this and think you're going to get away with it! sue, is-- everythi
only i didn't use the word resignation. i used lots of shorter words. all right, jake, shouldn't you be doing your homework? no, i wanna watch this. i think we should have a drink to celebrate. i mean, we don't need the money that she's giving me, do we? we can cope financially, as long as you're pulling in a wage. and you know what? i've been thinking, and i think we should do that world trip idea of yours. i've got to stop seeing bear-traps everywhere. we could rent this house out while we're...
17
17
Jan 5, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
tv
eye 17
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quote 0
could be quicker if you use a hose. false alarm. trick or treaters. what, in september? god, i hate all that american stuff. god, so do i. it's like when angela comes back with all that "sidewalk" and "cookie" crap. i mean, she's english! oh, no, no, sorry. she's a citizen of the world. yeah, well-- i know what's gonna happen. she's gonna drop by, she's gonna give dad half an hour of her precious time, and then she's gonna bugger off to find herself-- again. i mean, she-- can you stop going on about bloody angela?! i didn't mean to snap at you, it's just that when you go off on one about angela, that's quite a lot of the day gone. ( phone rings ) ( ringing ) hello? oh, hi. oh, no. okay. uh, i'll bring him out. no, no, that's fine. it's your mum, she can't park. she's probably on the run from the police. the police thing isn't true. really? and my-dad-throwing-the-brick thing isn't true. isn't it? ben told me to say that stuff. ( sighs ) bye-bye, ben's mum. thank you for having me. deion, you got everything? yes. mum, can you get pusscat from the car?! did mummy put you o
could be quicker if you use a hose. false alarm. trick or treaters. what, in september? god, i hate all that american stuff. god, so do i. it's like when angela comes back with all that "sidewalk" and "cookie" crap. i mean, she's english! oh, no, no, sorry. she's a citizen of the world. yeah, well-- i know what's gonna happen. she's gonna drop by, she's gonna give dad half an hour of her precious time, and then she's gonna bugger off to find herself-- again. i mean, she--...
82
82
Jan 26, 2012
01/12
by
KQEH
tv
eye 82
favorite 0
quote 0
i suppose it would stop us getting deeper into the hole. ben (chanting): ♪ jake's texting jo, jake's in love with jo ♪ ♪ jake wants to sext jo ben! can't you control him? i think you know the answer to that. ♪ you're taking the beeping beep ♪ ♪ i've seen better beeping souffle ♪ ♪ up your beeping beep beep oh! boo hoo! waah haah! i hate hell's kitchen! it's too hot, it's too horrid. oh, boo hoo! bye bye! bye bye! ( sobbing noises ) pete. you've rearranged the stuff i put it in the dishwasher. that's because the knives don't clean properly unless they are blade up. if you put the blade up, you're going to stab yourself. there is a mouse in the trap in the laundry room. dead? no, he's doing his laundry. can you deal with it, please? ( doorbell ) jake, can you let jane and alexa in, please? can i have some ice cream money? you've got money in your piggy bank. i spent it. what on? on my friends. well, that's nice. i gave everybody in my class 20p. why? so they'd vote for me in the school council election. ben, you can't give all
i suppose it would stop us getting deeper into the hole. ben (chanting): ♪ jake's texting jo, jake's in love with jo ♪ ♪ jake wants to sext jo ben! can't you control him? i think you know the answer to that. ♪ you're taking the beeping beep ♪ ♪ i've seen better beeping souffle ♪ ♪ up your beeping beep beep oh! boo hoo! waah haah! i hate hell's kitchen! it's too hot, it's too horrid. oh, boo hoo! bye bye! bye bye! ( sobbing noises ) pete. you've rearranged the stuff i put it in...